Friday, April 10, 2015

Top ten things you should definitly do at your resort while on a bachelor party with ten newfies

10. Pack a lunch

9. Pack good footwear and polysporine

8. Rent boogie boards for $10 and go out far in the ocean until the lifeguards start whistling.

7. Be friendly and Canadian and the staff won't treat you too bad. They still want those dollar bills in American though!

6. Eat at the late night drunk feeding trough. Only two metal dishes of food and burgers, but somehow wayyyy better than buffet. Montezuma is gonna get you anyways, so go ahead and enjoy!

5. Eat a meal with all you buddies and have a big old laugh

4. Secret

3. Tip the right people and anything is yours. Don't tip and you don't exist. So you decide. I tipped the guy pressure washing the grounds because he is cleaning the ground we walk on and nobody really seems to care about that. But I care. I care a whole US dollar worth! Thank you Jesus!
And thank you America for turning a beautiful natural feature of the Yucatan peninsula into a cess pool of capitalism and sinful behavior. God Bless America!

2. Get drunk and crazy, but don't do anything your grandparents wouldn't do. Remembering that some of us had/have wilder grandparents than others...(Meaning I saw your grandma on the boob cruise)

1. Get comfortable outside of your comfort zone

1. Shots! Shots! Shots!

1. Dance!

1. climb a 20 foot stripper pole on your resort!

1. play beer pong in pool!

1. Laugh!

Off the chart trip. I could go on, but outside of all the melted butter and toe sucking pool scum jokes, it was a great trip and has inspired me to bring this blog back to life.

I'd rather laugh till I cry than just sit around crying. Sometimes a good bonding trip with your best buds reminds you of how important it is to be happy and grateful for being alive!

Time to decompress and get back to the reality of grinding out a living and making it work back here in Canada. New Show coming out this summer from Sabourin Lake Lodge featuring a bi-weekly feature episode and clips of our exploits living and fishing in the north woods of Ontario. Lots of interesting fodder for fun and maybe some fishing too! Expect lots of laughs and potentially some nudity. Probably not the good kind. People who remember Seinfeld should remember the 'bad naked' joke that compared 'sexy naked' to 'opening a jar of pickles naked'. That's what we'll being aiming for. Like a mix of Bill Dance, In-fisherman, a chip and dale show, Sienfeld, Friends, Cheers, Deliverance, Red Shoe Diaries, Ninja Turtles, and Fred Penner. Inside jokes too. For insiders only. But only the insiders will get that. Which is implied, but most things are and there are still lots of new cat and dog pictures on face book. And I'm fairly sure we all know dogs and cats are cute by now...So the show will aim to not be overly redundant. it will not be redundant. I will not over emphasize the importance of not being over redundant by being redundant here in this space. The last thing the internet needs is more words. Maybe it is like a giant vessel and five more words will make it burst. One more idiot posting some shit on Face book hoping it will finally make him cool and he will self-actualize as Maslow promised once his penultimate post of himself on a beach with his puppy and fiancĂ© make it onto face book...Or maybe it's a series of tubes and we don't need to worry. So if you managed to make it though that long , un-edited mouthful of brain words  and you are still reading you may be interested in watching the new show when it comes out this spring. Look forward to self actualizing with you all. It is going to be that good. Cheers to the purple kool-aid that is the future we live in. Tastes like chicken to me!
 

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