Friday, April 10, 2015

The Top Ten Things Not to do in Mexico if You're a Married Man...

10. Get Engaged to a Lady Boy at an after hours stripclub in a hot tub

9. Go on a Boob Cruise and write it off as a business fishing trip

8. Pay $1000 dollars for VIP access at the beach party for the privilege of spraying twerking spring
    break girls with overpriced vodka and old man ball sweat

7. Spend $10, 000 on Mexican beach drugs and melt any emotional connections in your neural
    network connecting you to your wife and family

6.  Get caught on camera doing body shots off of a guy named Patrick

5. Suck on any toes. This also goes for unmarried men...

4. Take an extension on your line of credit to pay the "fines" for getting out of Mexican prison (twice)

3. Consult the Local Pharmacia for a prescription shampoo for the Mexican super crabs you  
    claim to have caught by "using a strangers towel" at the beach

2. Butt dial your wife at 4:00am and have her hear the whole conversation up until the last phrase:  
    "C'mon jump into the pool for more body shots with us. Your wife will never know! SPLASH!"

1. Let anything get out of Mexico...

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