Top Ten Cuban Buffet Delights...

1.  Mayo/cheese combo after two hours in the heat and a nice protective film has formed. Chunky and shiny and creamy...Yum.
2. Hairs. If it grows on the human body, you will find it in the buffet. You may be lucky enough to find a few different colours and types in your breakfast. Omelets with ginger pubes and black beard hairs anyone?
3. Surprise Casseroles. Do you like to know exactly what you are eating? Well, avoid the surprise casserole, because it is a mix of several previous meals, usually enhanced with sliced hotdogs and re-hydrated with suntanning oil and pig's blood.
4. Fruit. Perhaps it is the lack of American supplied super-fertilizers, but the fruit tends to be very bland and dry. Just how some people LOVE their fruit: bland and dry. YUM. The oranges and grapefruits were better, but usually covered in beard hair...
5. Solid blocks of salt. Have you ever seen a salt shaker with rice in it so it doesn't clump? Well, nobody in Cuba has. I recommend just pouring sea water over the food to enhance the flavours. 
6. The tap water. You may be carefully drinking bottled water all the time, but at the buffet it is in everything. Maybe it is safe to drink, maybe you get worms. Either way, make sure you try some of the food swimming in water.
7. Fried fish. This was freshly grilled right in front of you and it was usually really good. Fresh and tasty. Most of the fresh grilled food was really good and provided lots of sandwich material. So don't despair.
8. Greasy breaded sausage balls. I didn't know that sausages grew balls, but these little treats were a decent sponge for mid morning alcohol.
9. A mountain of hard boiled eggs, covered in katchup and mustard, artistically sprayed in overlapping patterns on top of the egg pile. What a sight to behold!
10. Sliced hotdogs floating in water. It may have been some other liquid, but I never found out. This dish reappeared daily, usually after the outdoor hotdog grilling station closed, so you can draw your own conclusions. 

Despite the overwhelming amount of questionable, inedible, and just plain gross food options, there were some bright spots. For example, the burger stand in town offered $1.20 hamburgesas made from some sort of pork/beef blend  that were pretty good. And at the 'a la carte' dinner i had some decent steaks and shrimps. The beer was always cold and fresh. The service was excellent, better from the bartenders than the wait staff, but everyone was polite and helpful. Overall, an excellent vacation destination, just prepare to lose some weight.

Buenos Dias