Friday, April 10, 2015

When you translate foreign language facebook posts with the internet it makes them sound more meaningful and vague. or is it the message itself? Is the medium the message or the message the medium? Go Internet!

"Of course, until now, had not been aware of this: The goal toward which is rushing the man is always veiled. The girl who wishes to get married, if you would like something completely unknown to her. The young man who seeks the glory does not know what is the glory. That which gives meaning to our performance is always something totally unknown to us...."

or

"I see that the an learned very well of the ' cake of sausages ' of mabel!! Jajajajajajaj"

 

Top ten things you should definitly do at your resort while on a bachelor party with ten newfies

10. Pack a lunch

9. Pack good footwear and polysporine

8. Rent boogie boards for $10 and go out far in the ocean until the lifeguards start whistling.

7. Be friendly and Canadian and the staff won't treat you too bad. They still want those dollar bills in American though!

6. Eat at the late night drunk feeding trough. Only two metal dishes of food and burgers, but somehow wayyyy better than buffet. Montezuma is gonna get you anyways, so go ahead and enjoy!

5. Eat a meal with all you buddies and have a big old laugh

4. Secret

3. Tip the right people and anything is yours. Don't tip and you don't exist. So you decide. I tipped the guy pressure washing the grounds because he is cleaning the ground we walk on and nobody really seems to care about that. But I care. I care a whole US dollar worth! Thank you Jesus!
And thank you America for turning a beautiful natural feature of the Yucatan peninsula into a cess pool of capitalism and sinful behavior. God Bless America!

2. Get drunk and crazy, but don't do anything your grandparents wouldn't do. Remembering that some of us had/have wilder grandparents than others...(Meaning I saw your grandma on the boob cruise)

1. Get comfortable outside of your comfort zone

1. Shots! Shots! Shots!

1. Dance!

1. climb a 20 foot stripper pole on your resort!

1. play beer pong in pool!

1. Laugh!

Off the chart trip. I could go on, but outside of all the melted butter and toe sucking pool scum jokes, it was a great trip and has inspired me to bring this blog back to life.

I'd rather laugh till I cry than just sit around crying. Sometimes a good bonding trip with your best buds reminds you of how important it is to be happy and grateful for being alive!

Time to decompress and get back to the reality of grinding out a living and making it work back here in Canada. New Show coming out this summer from Sabourin Lake Lodge featuring a bi-weekly feature episode and clips of our exploits living and fishing in the north woods of Ontario. Lots of interesting fodder for fun and maybe some fishing too! Expect lots of laughs and potentially some nudity. Probably not the good kind. People who remember Seinfeld should remember the 'bad naked' joke that compared 'sexy naked' to 'opening a jar of pickles naked'. That's what we'll being aiming for. Like a mix of Bill Dance, In-fisherman, a chip and dale show, Sienfeld, Friends, Cheers, Deliverance, Red Shoe Diaries, Ninja Turtles, and Fred Penner. Inside jokes too. For insiders only. But only the insiders will get that. Which is implied, but most things are and there are still lots of new cat and dog pictures on face book. And I'm fairly sure we all know dogs and cats are cute by now...So the show will aim to not be overly redundant. it will not be redundant. I will not over emphasize the importance of not being over redundant by being redundant here in this space. The last thing the internet needs is more words. Maybe it is like a giant vessel and five more words will make it burst. One more idiot posting some shit on Face book hoping it will finally make him cool and he will self-actualize as Maslow promised once his penultimate post of himself on a beach with his puppy and fiancĂ© make it onto face book...Or maybe it's a series of tubes and we don't need to worry. So if you managed to make it though that long , un-edited mouthful of brain words  and you are still reading you may be interested in watching the new show when it comes out this spring. Look forward to self actualizing with you all. It is going to be that good. Cheers to the purple kool-aid that is the future we live in. Tastes like chicken to me!
 

Top Ten Things to Avoid at a Cancun Resort

10. The time share pitchers promising a 'free' bottle of tequila for a little of your time. The tequila is  
       distilled pool water.

9. The hotel gift shop. $35USD for sunscreen; also made of pool water

8. Trying to light on fire a giant thatched roof building at 3am when you are totally wasted. Just 
     because you are a privileged little American spring breaker and your mommy and daddy paid for
     your trip and your girlfriends tits doesn't give you the right to burn down the place. Party Foul!

7. Going out too far in the ocean. Excessive alcohol, strong undertow, and very lazy Mexican  
    lifeguards make for a deadly combination.

6. Losing the towels from your room at the pool or beach. Another $50 extortion tactic employed by
    the hotel.

5. Having expectations of consistent service at the resort. Staff ranges from friendly to felonious:  
    Prepare for extortion with a smile...
   
4. The shallow end of the mile long pool. Seems to be the highest concentration of pool scum. Not  
     normal pool scum here, this is post spring break pool pollution, , 33% urine, 15% butt urine  
    (liquid buffet poop), 14% alcohol (spilled drinks are the replacement for real chlorine), 12% skin
     flakes and scabs, 9% toe nails,  8% sun-curdled semen, and the rest is too gross to even mention

3. The main buffet. Bill and Wendy from told me that on day 2. Same formula as pool scum

2. Montezuma. I don't know what this Demi-god of Demi-formed shit has against us tourists, but he  
    is hell bent on revenge and he will hunt you until he has gotten it. Brushing your teeth with tap
    water is almost second nature; Montezuma knows this weakness and he lurks in every tap waiting
    calmly, and like I said: He will get you!

1. Sobriety
 

The Top Ten Things Not to do in Mexico if You're a Married Man...

10. Get Engaged to a Lady Boy at an after hours stripclub in a hot tub

9. Go on a Boob Cruise and write it off as a business fishing trip

8. Pay $1000 dollars for VIP access at the beach party for the privilege of spraying twerking spring
    break girls with overpriced vodka and old man ball sweat

7. Spend $10, 000 on Mexican beach drugs and melt any emotional connections in your neural
    network connecting you to your wife and family

6.  Get caught on camera doing body shots off of a guy named Patrick

5. Suck on any toes. This also goes for unmarried men...

4. Take an extension on your line of credit to pay the "fines" for getting out of Mexican prison (twice)

3. Consult the Local Pharmacia for a prescription shampoo for the Mexican super crabs you  
    claim to have caught by "using a strangers towel" at the beach

2. Butt dial your wife at 4:00am and have her hear the whole conversation up until the last phrase:  
    "C'mon jump into the pool for more body shots with us. Your wife will never know! SPLASH!"

1. Let anything get out of Mexico...

Monday, March 10, 2014

Springing Ahead into Maple Syrup Season

"...we forget that we are a part of nature. In this world of nature we can live only by killing: this is a law that is none of our making. The noble maple is chopped down for firewood- who knows but that it too loves to live, and feels a thrill of joy when it's sweet sap surges upward in the spring. Our boots are made from the hides of cattle, our clothing from the woool of sheep, and we batten on their flesh. Whose ear is attuned fine enough to hear the plaintive sigh of the reluctant beet or carrot torn from the garden mould? Death comes apace to all living things, for no matter how we avoid killing,
 'all men kill the thing they love." Death, the end of everthing we understand, is, after all, one of the minor incidents of life."- Frank Parker Day, The Autobiography of a Fisherman



               The sap of those noble maples will be flowing again soon. It is good to know some things haven't changed since 1927 when Day wrote those lines. The sentiment of the lines is also relevant today, where our disengagement from nature is manifesting into noticable negative consequences.
 At least to those paying attention to consequences.

                I wont be chopping down any maples for firewood, just coaxing a little of that sap into my boiling pot. No killing required! However, I am cutting down a lot of standing dead softwood. Not as many btus as hardwood, but it is dry and burns good enough for me. The sap is a little slow to get going so far. There was a decent sap flow event during the  warm weekend in late february, but it has been a cold start to March.This weekend promises a few consecutive days of positive temperatures, which should get the sap flowing again.
              
                  Lots of preparation to do before boiling begins: more trees need to be tapped, more cans cleaned out, more wood cut, more, more, more. Then the season will be in full swing and there will be a need for more wood, more bottles, more containers, more wood, more time. That is part of what appeals to me about this syrup making business, the constant demand to keep up with the sap flow and to keep burning and boiling.
There is a rhythm to the work. Get wood, collect sap, boil sap, get wood, bottle syrup, eat pancakes, repeat...
                  This year I have expanded the operation in a few ways. There is going to be about twice as many trees tapped and hopefully twice as much sap, if not more, as the trees were tapped in a staggered fashion last year and I am setting all of them early this year. The wood collecting is slightly easier this year, as I have my Stilh MS361 chainsaw back from BC. The old homelite saw did its duty last season, but I don't miss the old brute too much.
                  Keeping up with all this potential sap got me thinking I had to improve on my boiling efficiency too. The old stove was retired and a new location has been made for a new and improved model stove and pot. There are some pictures here of the contraption. Basically a giant 67 litre aluminum pot and an old hot water tank stove with a hole cut in it for the pot to rest in. Lots of surface area and more direct contact with the fire than the old 'system'.

                 If Mother Nature cooperates and we get some warm weather, but not too warm, then it will be an exciting and productive season in the sugar bush.
                                                                  Looking forward to it!

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

A Little Creature From the Depths...


Nutritional Facts About Maple Syrup

 From the New Brunswick Maple Syrup Association (NBMSA) website:

Tasty, Nutritious and Natural

Maple syrup does not contain any preservatives or chemicals. This product of nature is pure and natural.
Aside from its distinctive taste, maple syrup has a number of qualities that literally puts it in a class of its own. You be the judge...

Nutritional value for various sweeteners (% of Daily Value)


Maple Syrup Corn Syrup Honey Maple Sugar Brown Sugar Sugar
Manganese 100 0 3 29 9 0
Riboflavin 34 0 2 2 0 1
Zinc 11 3 1 5 1 0
Magnesium 5 0 0 3 7 0
Calcium 6 1 1 7 5 0
Potassium 5 0 1 4 6 0
Calories 217 241 258 170 211 194
Sugars (in grams) 54 65 70 41 54 50

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Maple Syrup: Step by Sweet Step

This is a brief description of how maple syrup is made from the sap of wild maple trees.
Here is a little video for you:


It has been a good season so far. There have been cold nights and warm days, which is good for sap production. Getting close to 20 gallons of sap every day right now. Not much time to update the blog with all the collecting and boiling...


This is where I live...

From Wikipedia:

As stated in the Untied Mine Workers' Journal of 1937, "Nowhere on the American continent, is there a strife which combines the elements of greed, harshness, cold, suffering, and want, as exists [in Minto]."[5]


Minto. Oh, sweet Minto.